A holistic view of weight loss
Featuring inner work, tender care and attention, loving kindness and compassion
After years of reaching for the wrong goals, I have come to understand that my problem is one of emotional resilience and the need for inner wholeness. The extra weight is a symptom of something deeper and profound, an inner wound requiring tender care and attention. My relationship with my weight, physical fitness and well-being is intimately connected with my inner relationship with myself.
For many of us, the new year invariably comes with hopes and wishes for what is possible for the year ahead. At the same time, adverts promising a new you, a perfect body, and resulting happiness bombard us. And, of course, weight loss and diets feature heavily amongst these offerings and "miracle" products.
I write this in response to a dear friend's invitation to join her weight loss group and my resistance towards the idea of weight loss being a goal, what I choose instead and why. My hope in offering this, a very personal story and insight, is that it may be helpful in providing an alternative view to any weight issues you might experience.
I am, I have to confess, uncomfortable with how heavy I have become, the weight itself a metaphor for the struggle inside to bear the weight of inner pain. Yet weight loss is not something I am pursuing. Instead, I seek inner harmony, with the possibility of shedding pounds a happy accident of finding that balance. A psychological balance rooted in inner resilience and wholeness.
Throughout my adult life, I have struggled or, rather, battled with my weight – the battling has been exhausting, soul-destroying and, ultimately, futile. I have embarked on numerous diets and exercise regimes, from the disgusting (cabbage soup, anyone?) to the surreal – amphetamines mess with your brain, folks! In between, I have tried Paleo, Keto, Weight Watchers, Slimmer's World, and others too numerous to mention, along with expensive gym memberships and gruelling exercise classes and programmes. Although many gave great results initially, the upshot would invariably be the same. As soon as life threw an emotional spanner, I would crumple back into old comfort eating patterns and lethargy, and my weight would balloon way past its original level.
It's odd that I should turn to food as a comforter, as before the age of eighteen, food was not something I thought much or cared about, except for pre-teen Friday night, "sweet night", which was more about receiving some attention and love in the form of sickly treats from my workaholic father. I suspect that this family ritual was the genesis of my comfort eating that would materialise after the devastating ending of my first serious love affair. Before this ending, I recall regularly waking up in the middle of the night with a strange gnawing sensation in my belly, only to realise that my sole nutrient intake that day had been a Mars bar or a jam sandwich. In those days, I mainly ran on alcohol and cigarettes, a habit I picked up and rapidly developed from the tender age of thirteen. The destructive imbalance of my emotional wounding showed up early and never really went away, manifesting in varying forms of addictive numbing behaviour.
After years of reaching for the wrong goals, I have come to understand that my problem is one of emotional resilience and the need for inner wholeness. The extra weight is a symptom of something deeper and profound, an inner wound requiring tender care and attention. My relationship with my weight, physical fitness and well-being is intimately connected with my inner relationship with myself.
Tender care and attention, loving kindness and compassion – not sentiments usually associated with dieting and weight loss – but perhaps a more practical and potentially lasting approach to shedding unwanted pounds. I believe that inner work is the solution to the unhealthy eating patterns in my life and related lethargy. So, this year, I embark upon the next leg of my shadow work journey as I explore the hidden depths of my early years. I intend to deepen my love for that wounded inner child, to finally heal her torn heart and provide a safe space for her to play and create as nature intended, to quench her deep hunger for the love and care she deserves. I believe everything else, including my weight and physical well-being, depends upon it.
Meanwhile, I shall be joining that weight loss group. It's healthy to be in a safe community in which we can share our healing journey, offer support to others, and celebrate our achievements together.
You can find out more and join the free group Wight Loss for Witches here